Posted by: drjamm | February 27, 2010

Skunk fight!

“SKUNK FIGHT!” my husband yells. I am up running before my eyes are open. The ear-splitting sound is unmistakable – like a squirrel with its tail caught in an electric pencil sharpener. Two skunks are airing a disagreement outside our open bedroom window. No matter who wins, there is no way for this conflict to end without our family suffering through olfactory hell.
Bolting from a sound sleep, we prepare for the worst: 60 seconds to get the house locked down before IT happens. With fire-drill precision, my husband runs for the air cleaner; my daughter gets the fan; and I slam the window close. We cower back in our family bed hoping against hope we can be spared.
Meanwhile a menacing stench – a blend of putrid porta-potty, steaming tar, and burning plastic — crawls across our room. The seconds count down until, “BLAM!” we are decimated by the face-melting chemical fog.
“OHHOLYMOTHEROFSKUNK!” we scream as we dive under the duvet trying to seal off the inevitable. But there is no escape from this Cloud of Doom.
We writhe and gag while somewhere outside a triumphant skunk waddles away promising to return, “Hasta la vista, baby.”

I am left lying awake in agony with an old camp tune, Snake Farm, running through my head — except these new words spring to mind:

Skunk fight! Smells pretty nasty.
Skunk fight! Pretty much is.
Skunk fight! Its a varmit conflict.
Skunk fight! Eeeeuuww….

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*******       bright heart singing                          credits and links             *******
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Image credit: Skunk drawing by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com

bright heart singing, copyright 2010 – jamm. Creative commons attribution, non-commercial sharing only (translation: feel free to quote me in context or use this entry but please always credit me for my work, thanks.)https://brightheartsinging.wordpress.com

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Responses

  1. Ah there’s nothing quite like a skunk fight! 🙂

    :We writhe and gag while somewhere outside a triumphant skunk waddles away promising to return, “Hasta la vista, baby.”

    That would probably be Zorrillo. . .

  2. This could happen to me as soon as it warms up a bit. I live just outside a small town. Does anything work to get rid of the smell?

  3. I don’t know the answer to that great question. I hope someone will reply with the secret antidote to skunk smell just in case I need it in the future. thanks for your comment.


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