bright heart singing

Rule for living a good life

drjamm — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:33:57 +0000

Signs, signs
Everywhere there’s signs
Blocking up the scenery
Breaking up my mind
Do this, don’t do that
Can’t you read the sign

– by Les Emmerson, performed by Five Man Electric Band and Tesla

I laughed out loud when I took this photo of a parking sign painted on the road. I was captivated by Autumn’s complete disobedience of the edict to keep the area clear and Her disregard of any threatened violations. Oh, how I fantasize about skipping through life, for once, unburdened by all the threats of the consequences for violating this rule or that. I do appreciate the order and ease that rules can bring and, at the same time, I absolutely thrill at seeing a rule well broken.

I have been busy — really BUSY — attending to some fabulous projects these past few weeks. And I can tell that my work is effective and germinating beginnings that will bring good changes. Even so, I am tired from my work; and being tired can make it harder for me to stay centred in my happy heart. Even with just a little bit of fatigue, I can find it hard NOT to get tangled up in other people’s shadow games and self-imposed rules. Rules are important except when they start to strangle authentic connection and honest communication. I have to be care-full not to let my Self and my Light be limited by others.

…If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.

–Rumi

I have to practice — and practice — keeping my Self out of the Shadow. My tried and true soul remedy, when I have been in too many meetings following “Roberts Rules of Order,” is to look for a momentary escape or –escapade – to liberate and refresh my sense of natural order and flow.

For me the key is to discover the Creative Rogue, the Imaginative Rule Breaker, the Raven Amoung Us who messes things up just enough to remind us to not take the rules so seriously, but instead, keeps our sights more firmly set on the fundamental principles of Love and Laughter. Witnessing the sign I photographed and shared with you today is exactly the kind of natural chaos that brings me back to happy equilibrium.

You are probably wondering where all my talk about rules is headed. Well, my friend, I want you to know I have had a Divine Revelation — literally a “sign” — about the perfect rule we can all follow. I wouldn’t want to be the kind of friend who would keep this all-important Universal Rule from you (and here I am modeling some of my words on Leonard Cohen). So here it is. THE RULE that will help you live the Good Life is:

“Keep clea… or violations will be iss…”

Amen!

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Photo credits: Photo by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com

Song credit, lyrics from “Signs, Signs” written by Les Emmerson and song performed by Five Man Electric Band; Tesla

Poem credit: Poem excerpt from: Be Lost in the Call by Rumi. I found my link to this poem at http://www.khamush.com/poems.html

bright heart singing, copyright 2009 – jamm. Creative commons attribution, non-commercial sharing only (translation: feel free to quote me in context or use this entry but please always credit me for my work, thanks.) http://brightheartsinging.wordpress.com

Climate change challenges my spirit

drjamm — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:53:16 +0000

What does the world require of me?

— UU hymnal

The first time I heard a scientist present the evidence that our use of fossil fuel and other “modern” behaviours were radically changing our climate and potentially threatening the survival of most species on the planet, I felt like I was hit by a train. Sitting in that dark room watching slide after slide showing alarming evidence of the consequences of a warming planet impacted me like repeated blows with a sledge hammer.

I went home after that talk CRUSHED. I felt plunged into despair and hopelessness. Rather than being mobilized to make change, I felt completely immobilized. I knew I had suffered some kind of Spiritual wounding. To heal myself and regain my balance, I had to unplug from all discussions about climate change and even avoid the media. I was hurting and not functioning long after that first climate change talk.

Then, one day I was at a party and the discussion gravitated to the grave implications of climate change. Oh no, I thought, I have got to get myself out of here. “I find this whole discussion so debilitating that I have to excuse myself,” I confessed to my friends at the party. That’s when one friend said to me, “What are you talking about. This is GOOD NEWS.”

What? Good news? I thought he was seriously deluded or just not paying attention to all the scientific reports. And at the same time, if there was good news, I really really needed to hear it. For the sake of my badly aching Soul, I needed some hope and good news.

So I asked, “What’s the good news?”

And this is a paraphrase of my friends answer: The good news is that the denial is over and true, motivated, conscious change is possible for the first time. No more doubts; no more um-ing and aah-ing. The “let’s-wait-and-see” time is over. The good news is that YOU are the one who can make the difference and NOW is the time. Can you, for example, reduce your gas dependency, stop using plastic bags, and recycle? “Yes, I am already doing that and I could even do way more than that if I planned out my life better,” I eagerly replied.

And in my “Yes” response, I felt the bleak, hopeless, spiritual despair around climate change lift and a new wind of “Can-do” Spirit entered my body. My spirit thrilled to the good news that we have a great opportunity to turn around a bad situation. My spirit came alive to the hope that all was not hope-less. My spirit blossomed in the faith that if I do all that I can and — with my good example — inspire others to do the same, that eventually we will have the transformation required to re-balance the climate.

Personally, I was spiritually devastated by a massive presentation of research findings about the perilous effects of a warming climate; but then I was not in denial about climate change in the first place. I felt nearly mortally wounded after such a heavy hitting presentation that was designed to break down someone with thick-walled denial about climate change. Oh please don’t misunderstand: I am deeply indebted to and grateful for the brilliant scientists who brave making these presentations available to us. I just need to be discerning about how much information I consume in one sitting because I can feel seriously overwhelmed and dis-empowered to act.

Ever since I heard the good news about climate change, however, I have been optimistically changing my habits, increasing my efforts to be mindful about my “foot print” on our beautiful planet. By focusing on the good news — while not in denial over the climate challenges — I have been nourishing my Spirit, acting-in-faith that my very best effort will be just enough of what this world requires of me.

What does the world require of me?
To seek justice, and love kindness, and walk humbly upon the Earth
Justice, kindness, and walk humbly upon the Earth.

– from the Unitarian Universalist hymnal

May you find your good news “edge” that will inspire and sustain your very best effort while you work, play, give service to others, and live a life in balance with the our beautiful Earth . Blessed Be.

For more on Blog Action Day see: http://www.blogactionday.org/

Rest note with fermata

drjamm — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:00:31 +0000

A little sabbath,
minnow whose brightness silvers past time.

The rest note,
unwritten,
hinged between worlds,
that precedes change and allows it.

– Jane Hirshfield, The Door

It is Sunday and still I long for a regular Sabbath day, a planned sanctuary from all the hustle and bustle of my week. This morning, instead of attending church, my daughter and I spread a blanket on the sun-warmed driveway and took out our water colour paints. With paint brush in hand, I decided to play with the concept of the rest note, that musical symbol for silence. In song writing, the composer has different symbols for shorter and longer periods of silence. Recognizing that silence is a form magic that is co-created when composer, musician/ singer, music, and listener come together, the composer can add a fermata (fair-mah-tah) (that bird’s eye looking symbol that hovers above the squiggly rest) above any rest (or note) in order to hand artistic control over the duration of the silent moment to the conductor. With the fermata, the conductor is free to interpret the music-as-it-plays-out-in-the-moment, and deliver the moment of silence with “just right” timing. Magnifico!

To my mind, creating a Sabbath for myself requires advanced planning; in other words, I need to my write a “rest note” into my week’s “composition.” All to often, however, the needs of others around me — and, if I am honest, my own lack of focus — affect(s) my ability to achieve a sustained and meaningful rest. Would adding a “fermata” to my planned rest: adding a permission to artistically interpret — in the moment — and make adaptations that fit my “little sabbath” rest around the needs of others in my life increase my chances of success? And what would that artistc interpretation look like for me and my moment of rest? For me, the effort of composing a week of meaningful work and finishing with a moment of play and rest seems so complicated. The idea that there might be some artistry or flair to achieving a sabbath-of-sorts makes me feel inspired to keep trying until I succeed.

I have been very inspired by reading Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s brilliantly written book, The Sabbath. I don’t have a religious or cultural structure to support “a day of rest.” But perhaps if I taped my little painting, “rest note with fermata,” above my mirror during this week, I might remind myself to focus on my need to set aside time at the end of the week, so I may create sacred space for me and my family. Hmmm, I think I will give it a try. :0)

May you find rest in your week so you may be refresh and ready to begin again the Good Work of your life. Om and namaste.

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Image credits: Water colour painting by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com. This painting is based on a line of sheet music from Paul Simon’s, “Quiet,” “The line begins: “I am heading for a time of quiet, when my restlessness is past.”

Book credit, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Sabbath.

Poem credit: Jane Hirshfield, The Door, published in Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelations, p. 131.

Perfect circle

drjamm — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:23:07 +0000

When the perfect circle marries all beginnings and conclusions.

– Paul Simon

I read a lot of music each week. Mostly, reading sheet music is an unconscious act for me: I simply understand what I am reading without needing to decipher what is before my eyes. But every now and then a piece of music calls me to slow down and savour the musical writing in the same way I would study and thrill at a gorgeous poem. Paul Simon’s less known song, “Quiet,” is one such composition that captured my imagination and collected me into contemplation today.

I am heading for a time of solitude,
of peace without illusions,
When the perfect circle marries all
beginnings and conclusions.

– Paul Simon, “Quiet”

I dusted off my water colours to paint my favourite phrase in “Quiet” so I could to share this lovely line with you. After singing a lonesome arc of melancholy, Paul Simon’s meaning and music crests on his highest sustained note — “CIR-cle.” Here, at the high point, he brings us into spiritual suspension; and at that sweet fulcrum between his rising and falling lines, he invites us to free float up in the ether before we gently tumble down to the mundane “all” of this Earth.

I am relieved that Simon places the word “circle”– and not “perfect” — in the Heaven of his composition. His choice of which word to place in the highest niche of his line tells us “Quiet” is no search for perfection, but rather, a plaintive yearning for the the peace that comes when we –finally– arrive back home where we started.

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome.

– Derek Walcott, Love after love.

Back-to-school after summer break, back to work after the weekend, back in bed after another long day of family and work to-dos, there are many circles of many sizes being drawn in the sands of my life. It feels good to notice when my beginnings marry my conclusions and I start once again on my next meaningful cycle.

May you take time to honour the closing, and look forward to the beginning of your next circle. Shanti and Shalom.

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Image credit: Watercolour by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com.

Music credit: Paul Simon, Quiet. I recommend giving this beautiful song a listen at the iTunes store.

Poem credit: Derek Walcott, excerpt of Love after Love, published in Roger Housden’s, Risking Everything:110 Poems of Love and Revelation, p.5

Dandelion parable

drjamm — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:02:40 +0000

plump bees twirling on small and humble blossoms like hippopotami pirouetting on lily pads.

We have so many dandelions in our lawn that our neighbours’ fret and beg us to mow our lawn before we contaminate their lawns with the weeds. And who can blame them for their weed angst? We have more dandelions than grass. If there can be a “pride of lions,” then we must have a “prairie of dandelions,” a fact that has not gone unnoticed by our local bees who flock to our plentiful weeds.

“May I have this dance?” asks a hopeful bee.

“Why yes,” is the dandelion’s reply as its tall and slender stem then bends under the ungainly weight of the bee as the the two dance a bumbling pas de deux. The bee rides the dandelion in a graceful arc — Doooown — until dandelion’s head nearly touches the ground and then springs back — UP — as the bee hops off to find its next dancing partner. Waltzing dandelion-bee couples can be seen by the dozens all across my lawn each summer day: plump bees twirling on small and humble blossoms like hippopotami pirouetting on lily pads.

One summer the wasps were numerous and nasty. We erected a 10 foot square tent (nylon roof, 4 screen sides, and no floor) so we could picnic outside without harassment from those striped snipers. At the end of the summer, when we folded up our tent, we discovered a perfect square of grass in the middle of our dandelion prairie. Every dandelion had disappeared inside our tent footprint! Ruling out differences in rainfall and sun exposure, we determined the difference between the thriving outside and the disappearance of dandelions inside our tent was that we had inadvertently screened out visiting bees along with the annoying wasps. Without the bees, the dandelions simply vanished — dramatic evidence of the interdependent web of life.

We humans say “dandelion” to name a plant that knows its Secret Spirit name is really “Dances-with-Bees.” Well, I have some questions for you, my friend. Could it be like that for us humans and the Divine? In an attempt to screen out wasp-like problems, do we prevent the Honey-Breathed Beloved from approaching and asking us for a dance? What if our Secret Spirit name is really “Dances-with-God” and our failure to accept sweet invitations to that Holy Pas de Deux means we slowly but surely vanish?

Every child has known God.
Not the God of names,
not the God of don’ts,
not the God who ever does anything weird.
But the God who only knows 4 words
and keeps repeating them, saying:
“Come, dance with Me”.
Come dance.

— Hafiz

May you always dance your Divine Dance. Whoo-hoo and Amen!

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Photo credits: Photos by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com.

Poem credit: Hafiz in The Gift, translation by Daniel Ladinsky. I cut and pasted a copy of this poem from: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=125906576&blogId=379274722

eagle poops – meditation

drjamm — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:08:12 +0000

Yesterday I wrote about an eagle that landed in a nearby tree just as I was writing a difficult-for-me post for this blog. I took the following video expecting that the magnificent bird would fly off at any second. I wanted to capture the bird in flight with my camera.

For minute after minute, I kept on alert for the eagle’s launch. But instead, it stayed in that tree with me clearly in its sight. “Hey, quit expecting the eagle to leave and just be here now in the company of this glorious companion,” I chided myself. So I relaxed and watched with what Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel would call “radical amazement” at the wonder of my being in the company of that eagle.

And that Regal Eagle, after a good long time of contemplation, — pooped! What did I expect a speech from the throne?

So above is a video I took of this bald eagle who shared some meditation time with me yesterday. I invite you sit for 10 minutes and BE with this glorious bird.

May you be filled with “radical amazement” about the world you live in. Shalom.

Eagle witnesses my Shadow

drjamm — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:01:31 +0000

I witnessed the eagle witnessing me.

bald eagle (centre photo)

I have had a deeply spiritual day today but not because I felt uplifted into the Light of the Great Spirit but rather because I felt the UGLY DRAGON of my own Denied Shadow writhe in my guts and demand attention. Oh, my day started off with very good intentions. I got up early, laid out my yoga mat and dedicated three candles to loved ones close to my heart. I even lit incense (nearly smoke-less, made from pure lavender) – a first in my unscented, hypo allergenic home. As I settled in place for meditation, I was immediately able to focus on my breath and heart beat – something that is very difficult for me at the end of a busy day. “Cool, this is easy,” I thought as I mentally gave myself the thumbs up sign.

After a while my daughter woke up and came downstairs. She chirped a happy “good morning” and set off to finish a creative project she wanted to share with her Unitarian Sunday school class. We were both happy and cheerful. “Aaaah, aren’t Sundays lovely? This meditating first thing in the morning is really, a snap,” I said to myself with no small amount of pride.

And, as we all know, “Pride goethe before The Fall.”

Not long after our angelic morning greeting, my daughter and I were YELLING at each other: she at me because she had run out of time and cold not have her art project done in time for Sunday school and that was somehow MY fault; and me yelling at her for yelling at me and wrecking the peace of my Sunday (a truly disturbing and illogical response on my part). Our argument escalated along with the volume of our voices. Eventually, and thankfully, harsh words were followed by apologies on both sides, and we hugged to try to calm down our mutually frayed nerves. As always after my ill-considered blasts of anger, I still have lingering remorse over my lack of self-control.

No amount of meditation, yoga, silent retreat, or years of praying can reveal the true spiritual dis-ease in me faster than my own child. A mere handful of minutes after lighting my meditation candles, I was battling my Shadow, feeling it alive and writhing in my guts, wanting to SCREAM, and shame, and hurt. For that moment, my Shadow was Ugly and HUGE. I experienced a powerful rising up my spine that was more like a vengeful valkyrie than a kundalini-rising phoenix.

This is what I learned today.

When I sit down to my yoga mat – I am inviting my whole Self to be present; the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly are all illuminated in the light cast by my meditation candle.
Ignoring the presence of my Shadow side by pining for peace instead of working toward peace, is never a good idea.
One reason my child is in my life is to call my spiritual bluff. One of her pre-teen tantrums can “out” my Shadow faster than any psychotherapy session or spiritual retreat ever could. It is a well-known Cosmic-joke-and-Great-Truth that our children are our Greatest Gurus, programmed by the Beloved to pierce our inflated egos with laser accuracy. Our children are little Cosmic Chefs who regularly and gleefully dish out generous portions of abject humility, well-seasoned with bone-deep wisdom, to parents brave enough to show-up for our children’s spiritual lessons-du-jour.

This morning I “played” at spiritual enlightenment and went through the motions of meditation only to have a full blown, face-to-face battle with my Shadow. In the late afternoon, I was sitting outside in the forest, with my fingers fumbling on my laptop keyboard trying to make some meaning out of my day (let’s pretend it’s “normal” to write blog posts in the forest, OK?). In that moment, I realized that my Light and Shadow would be best served if I “fess-up” and shared — rather than hid — my dark shadow side with you.

And just like that, Grace and Beauty came to me in the form of a bald eagle that landed in a nearby tree. While I intently observed the eagle, I consciously breathed in the forest air. I consciously kept my mind and heart focused on that gorgeous bird. I witnessed the eagle witnessing me. What must I look like to that perceptive winged soul? I saw myself — my whole Self — Light and Shadow — as an eagle would from a tree, and re-affirmed for myself that I was another natural creature in this complex and mysterious world. A full 10 minutes past while I allowed my Self to relax and come under the sustained and non-judging gaze of that Magnificent Eye.

This was my true mediation today: By consciously recognizing and shedding light on my Shadow, I was gifted with the knowledge that there is a loving home for my whole Self in the company of the Natural Mysterious Presence that abounds on this beautiful Earth.

May you find yourself at home with and embrace by the Natural Mysterious Presence as you journey through your week. Amen.

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Photo credits: Photos by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com. I am grateful to my daughter who spied today’s eagle landing high in a nearby forest tree and ran to get my camera for me.

Speed of Life

drjamm — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:26:50 +0000

Trees against a blue sky, "Photoshop" swirl by "luna"

I am back from my summer in the country. It is no surprise that I am having the usual city culture shock. Life in this city is just so fast and action packed. Where my mind used to have time over the summer to dwell on meditations while hanging clothes on the clothes line, and working on the beginnings of a book, now I have to sharply snap to the present, packed-to-the-rafters Fall term that lies before me. Where I use to drive along a single lane of a roughly paved back country road vaguely keeping my eyes on the ditch in case of jumping deer, now I am white knuckling the steering wheel as I drive my daughter to school along a freeway full of people who consider the posted speed their minimum speed.

The other day I was merging onto the freeway by way of one of the few on-ramps that has a long, easy entry onto the freeway. After much advance signaling, and perfect positioning on my part, I began to merge onto the freeway only to have the on-coming driver step on the gas and overtake me — forcing me to brake and steer towards the cement barriers. I honked and yelled to the speed-demon driver, “HOLYSWEETMOTHEROFUSALL! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO MERGE?!” (Could we just pretend that’s what I said? I am far too embarrassed to give you an exact quote of what I actually yelled). I braked in time and the other driver eventually moved to the non-merging lane.

a negative lens

I made it home with every nerve jangled. I was frightened to have been almost run off the road. I was angry to have had my life endangered. And, most of all, I was ashamed that, after a whole summer of practicing my version of hippy “Peace, Love, and Harmony,” I had such a nasty stream of negative language issue forth from my mouth. Then I had a realization: the obvious explanation for my absurd near-accident was that the over-taking driver simply did not see me or my merge signal — her or his mind must have been somewhere else.

If you are reading this post and have ever had your mind somewhere else while driving and made a stupid mistake, raise your hand. My hand is well up because I have — on more than one occasion — been an inattentive driver and put myself and others at risk. I need to stay vigilant and intentionally practice care-full driving, Clearly, if my cell phone rings while I’m driving, I should let it go to messaging so I — and those around me — can stay alive to see another day. Am I capable of committing to ONLY driving — no multi-tasking while I am driving? I hope so.

The Speed of Life in the country is slower, more mundane, less convenient. Time has a way of opening up and inviting me to grab a book or hang out with a pen and some paper. In the country, I notice the sunrises and sunsets, the tides, and the birds. For me, the Speed of Life in the city is all about multi-tasking mothering, chauffeuring, teaching, house cleaning, choir rehearsals, and — if I feel not too guilty, I sneak moments to read or write. I can go days careening around my city life without noticing the sun or birds. Do I have what it takes when I am in the city, to regularly carve out time to connect with Nature, devote regular hours to writing, and bring a Sabbath or Holy Day into my life to refresh my Spirit once a week? I hope so.

I know, in a week, my country/city culture clash will have resolved and my city life will seem to me to be “No Big.” But right now, just when I am in transition from my summer retreat to my modern city life, the true Speed of Life and the real lifestyle choices it brings becomes very salient to me.

I normally finish my blog entries with a blessing for you. Today, I feel inspired to offer a prayer:

Holy Sweet Mother of Us All, please keep all of us safe while we are driving. Help us resist letting the stresses and pressures of our high speed, complex lives adversely affect our good judgment and courtesy when we are in the driver’s seat. And Beloved Mother, while I have your attention, could you send me some of your Divine Calmness and Impeccable Judgment to help me wisely negotiate the transitions in my own Speed of Life. Amen and Blessed Be.

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Photo credits: Photo effects by “luna;” photos by jamm at brightheartsinging.wordpress.com

Schools out for summer!

drjamm — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:18:34 +0000

This is our time for our Spirits to be free.

Yesterday, my daughter finished her last day of school. And now our beautiful season of togetherness begins. We love summer and hanging around everyday and just Being — being quiet, being creative, being happy. This is our time for our Spirits to be free. This is my time to be in my finest role – Mama.

So with happiness and anticipation, I am taking my summer leave from my blog and other professional duties while I take time to focus on my family. I hope to come back to this blog and my work life in September having read lots yummy books and indulged my daily writing practice. I look forward to sharing that renewed Spiritual Light with you.

May your summer be filled with Peace, Love, and everything you need to be your Best Self. Blessed Be.

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Photo credit: jamm @ brightheartsinging.wordpress.com

Ways to Heaven

drjamm — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:33:45 +0000

One day I got an unexpected email from my friend, Jerry, asking me to publish his poem. I loved the poem but it was an unusual request to ask to have a poem published on my spiritual blog. Nevertheless, I replied to Jerry and said I would be delighted to publish his poem. He wrote me back, and with embarrassment, explained that he meant to send the email to a publisher and accidentally sent it to me. But he, nevertheless, was thrilled I agreed to publish his poem. A happy accident for us both! And now this seems like the perfect time to share Jerry’s poem with you.

Remembrances

By Jeronimo Miller

The bed quietly murmurs your name
And the room awaits your pen and eye.
The mattress sleeps expectantly for
————— your next curvaceous recline.
The quilt wishes to hold your fragrance,
And the pillow your dreams.

“Ohh, this is good !”

The mantra of the evenings
When the two a-likes
Entwine within their warmth,
And wordlessly
Pass maps
Of the Ways to Heaven.

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Photo credit – jamm @ bright heart singing